Saying sorry or making up with someone: how much it weighs on you
An unsaid sorry can sit with us for years. This weighs how much it matters to you, and starts with a step you can take without sending anything.
Your numbers
Common answers are filled in. Change the ones you know.
How much it weighs
Weighs 7 out of 10
It weighs 7 out of 10, and it's on your mind every week
In the World Regret Survey, regrets about doing the wrong thing were one of the four big kinds of regret. Unfinished plans keep coming back to mind. Writing down when you'll take the first step helps quiet them.
Your small stepWrite down the one thing you'd want them to know. You don't have to send it today.
How we worked this out
- How much it matters: 7 out of 10.
- How much you'd regret it at 80: 7 out of 10.
- Weight: (7 + 7) ÷ 2 = 7 out of 10.
- On your mind: every week.
- How scary starting feels: 5 out of 10. It changes the words we use, not the weight.
- Waiting for 1 year.
- There are no rupees here on purpose. Some things are better weighed than counted.
Sources
- Pink, The Power of Regret (2022): Across tens of thousands of submitted regrets, four kinds keep coming up: foundation (not building basics like savings or health), boldness (not taking the chance), moral, and connection (letting relationships drift).
- Gilovich & Medvec, Psychological Review (1995): In the short run people regret what they did; over the long run they regret what they didn't do.
- World Happiness Report 2025 (Gallup World Poll) (2025): Researchers measure how people feel about their lives with a simple 0 to 10 rating. India scored about 4.4 in 2025.
- Masicampo & Baumeister (2011): Unfinished goals keep popping into your head. Making a specific plan for them quiets those thoughts.
How it works
Some things can't be counted in rupees or hours, and pretending they can would feel cold. So we weigh them the way researchers measure feelings: with simple 0 to 10 ratings.
The weight is the average of two answers: how much it matters to you, and how much you'd regret never doing it, imagined at 80. How often it's on your mind and how scary starting feels change the order and the words, not the weight.
In the World Regret Survey, regrets about doing the wrong thing were one of the four big kinds of regret.
Sources
- Pink, The Power of Regret (2022): The survey is self-selected (people chose to submit), so it shows patterns, not rates.
- Gilovich & Medvec, Psychological Review (1995): Debated by Kahneman (1995); a 1998 follow-up found some regrets of inaction are wistful rather than painful.
- World Happiness Report 2025 (Gallup World Poll) (2025): A national average, and a different question from ours. We borrow the method, not the number.
- Masicampo & Baumeister (2011)
Questions people ask
What if I'm not ready to talk?
Start by writing down what you'd want them to know. You don't have to send it. It often makes the real conversation easier.
What if they were the one in the wrong?
Making up isn't about who was right. It's about whether the relationship matters to you. Your weight answers that.
Putting off more than one thing?
Pick up to five and get your Delay Statement: what to do first, what can wait, and one small step for today.
Want a nudge to act on it?
The app turns what you're putting off into a short list for each day: your Top 3 and one small step at a time. It's free.
We show what waiting costs on your own plans. We never tell you what to buy or invest in. Rules and averages change, so check the official pages before you plan anything.