Which regret is yours?
Most of us say “if only” about the same few things. Answer six quick questions to see which kind you say most, and one small step you can take today.
Question 1 of 6
It's 31 December. Which "next year" do you hear yourself say?
Thinking about regrets can stir things up, and that's okay. If you're feeling low, talk to someone now: Tele-MANAS 14416 (free, confidential, 24×7).
The four kinds of regret
The writer Daniel Pink collected regrets from people all over the world. The same four kinds came up again and again. Each one shows something people care about.
- Foundation: “If only I'd done the work.”
- It points to stability.
- Boldness: “If only I'd taken the chance.”
- It points to growth.
- Moral: “If only I'd done the right thing.”
- It points to goodness.
- Connection: “If only I'd reached out.”
- It points to love.
Over a lifetime, people tend to regret what they didn't do more than what they did. That's why every result ends with one small step.
Where this comes from
- Pink, The Power of Regret (2022): The survey is self-selected (people chose to submit), so it shows patterns, not rates.
- Gilovich & Medvec, Psychological Review (1995): Debated by Kahneman (1995); a 1998 follow-up found some regrets of inaction are wistful rather than painful.
Questions people ask
Is this a test?
No. It isn't a test or a diagnosis. It's six quick questions to help you notice which kind of "if only" you say most, so you can do something about it.
Where do my answers go?
Nowhere. They stay in the link on your phone. Only people you share that link with can see them.
Who came up with the four kinds?
The writer Daniel Pink. He collected regrets from people all over the world for his book The Power of Regret, and found the same four kinds again and again: foundation, boldness, moral and connection.
What if I got two?
That's common. Most of us carry more than one. We show your top kind first and a close second if there is one. Start with whichever feels lighter to act on.
Is it bad to think about regret?
Not usually. Looking back can show you what matters to you. If it brings up heavy feelings, talk to someone. Tele-MANAS is free on 14416, at any time.
We show what waiting costs on your own plans. We never tell you what to buy or invest in.